Psst! Have You Tried the Kellene Diet?

The South Beach Diet. The Liquid Diet. The No Food Diet. The Kellene Diet?!

Yes, you probably have not heard about it since I just thought about it, but I want to help those wanting to lose a few extra pounds before summer.

While growing up I was often asked how I kept thin. Now, years later it’s starting to finally catch up with me, but I can stop the fat (or aging) progress by – duh – exercising!

Mental note: Start doing sit-ups.

Luckily, I already distaste many foods people ‘can’t live without.’

So to achieve the Kellene Diet you must not eat certain dishes.

For instance, I inherently already hate butter. Yes! I hate the leftover greasy feeling it leaves on my fingers.

I also hate salad dressing! No joke! I like my lettuce and veggies with just pepper.

The look of anything creamy food-like disgusts me. Ugh!

A few years back I read that women get most of their daily calories from Ranch dressing during lunch breaks. Just the smell of the stuff turns my stomach.

And to this day I still get the ‘you hate cheese?’ line. Growing up my father always ate Kraft singles which turned my nose off. I still refuse to eat any of it to this day.

But… I eat Mac and Cheese, pizza and mozzarella sticks. Yeah, go figure that one out. Think it’s because
it’s mozzarella and I can at least stand the cooked version of it.

To avoid all arguments, I just claim I’m allergic. Works every time.

I also never really liked red meat. So I don’t eat steak. Too tough. Whaaa, but true. I only really eat chicken and burgers and on occasion pork.

And lamb is totally out of the question. The image of something so cute and fluffy running around kills me. Can’t get past it.

Fish, well, see Ranch. Brings back memories when my parents would take me down to the Wharf in San Francisco. I felt like I had bathed in fish stench.

On the flip side, I love Coke. Lots of it. Acquired the habit from my grandmother. Now I’m trying to break it 30 years later – I want to get rid of my small tummy.

Mental note: Start doing sit-ups.

It’s a daily struggle, but I’m slowly getting there by compensating with water mixed with Crystal Light. I realized I drink what is in front of me so if I put something healthy there – that’s half the battle. Took me years to figure that one out.

On the upside, my boyfriend and I love the feel and ‘taste’ of really cold water. We can’t get enough of it – and no joke, we argue and steal each other’s water. Many times I’ve come home to find my bottle gone. At least I know where to look.

I must also confess I have horrible sweet TEETH and j’adore chocolat, but sadly I can’t indulge in its heavenly goodness anymore.

It gives me horrible migraines, and there are times when I still tempt fate and win, and there are times when I pay the price. Chocolate is the devil.

It’s nice walking by candy aisles and not taking part in it. I sorely miss the guilty pleasure, but it’s another item I can take off my ‘bad food’ list.

I also learned will power must prevail at EVERY meal. Make a conscious decision to drink water and ‘naked’ salad. And as a bonus, it’s also more economical to drink water.

In the end, I actually do eat better thanks to my own self-proclaimed – and named diet. But it works for me.

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